翻译:小年糕 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
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你好啊 How are you?
你干嘛呢？我们为什么不去你办公室？ What are we doing here? How come we didn't go to your office?
我还没去办公室呢… I didn't go to my office yet...
您好 需要来点咖啡吗？ Hi, can I get you some coffee?
我要来杯无咖啡因的 I'll have a decaf.
谢谢 Thank you.
"需要来点咖啡吗" "Can I get you some coffee?"
您喜欢这样吗？ Wouldn't you love that?
我昨晚离开苏西了 I left Susie last night.
这事儿挺大的 我可算离开那鬼地方了 我对她说 It was a whole big thing, l got the hell out of there and I told her:
"我去宾馆住了 别给我打电话" "I'm going to a hotel, don't call me."
就这样 Yeah.
天呐 Holy cow.
是啊 我也不知道以后会进一步恶化… Yeah, I don't know if it's gonna go any further...
还是就只是分个居 than just a separation type situation.
要我说 这天可算来了 I mean, it was a long time coming.
我的问题是… My problem is...
我根本不懂那些离婚的事儿 因为 你懂得… l don't know about the divorce thing, because, you know...
我不想让她跟别人聊起我 或者在法庭上抖露出来什么事 l don't want her telling people about me, or things to come out in court.
我从没犯过法 你也知道 但是私事的话 I never broke the law, you know, but personal things.
什么事叫私事？你什么意思？ What kind of things? What do you mean?
像是性方面的 Like sexual.
你懂吧 就是我在性事上的一些癖好 You know, there's certain sexual things that I like...
我可不想让苏西都抖露出来 and I don't want Susie yammering about what they are.
不是什么可怕的事 也不违法 They're not horrible things that involve anything that's against the law.
她手握些… She's got some...
对 但你懂吧 那些事儿呗… Yeah, but, you know, just stuff...
那些你不想让她再复述的东西 Stuff that you don't want her to repeat.
我不想让她复述了 I don't want her to repeat.
这就是性勒索啊 This is sexual blackmail.
性勒索 Sexual blackmail.
太糟心了吧 That is just awful.
是吧 就这样呗 That's, yeah, it's...
这就是我为什么从来没做过一丁点恶趣味的事 That's why l've never done anything even remotely kinky...
和谁都没有过 ever, with anyone.
我干过最疯狂的事儿 就是男下女上 The craziest thing l've done: I've been on the bottom.
你懂吧 就这了 You know, that's it.
和你老婆也不这样吗 Not even with your wife.
看看你和你老婆怎么样了吧 Look what's happening with your wife.
你提前保护好自己了是吧 You protected yourself ahead of time.
我不什么都和老婆说 我不和她吐露什么 I don't tell my wife anything, l don't confide in my wife.
我谁都不信任 我就把她当熟人 I don't trust anybody. I just treat her like an acquaintance.
你觉得我会想让她四处传我的闲话吗？ Do you think I want her blabbing about me to people?
如果明天我们离婚了 她根本无话可传 If we got divorced tomorrow, she'd have nothing to say.
她也就能说个我讨厌谁谁谁 顶多了 Or maybe she could say l hate a couple of people, but that's it.
我可能说过几句你的坏话呢… I probably said a couple of nasty things about you...
但其他的就… but other than that...
那是假想的 That's assumed.
我真的需要你帮我个大忙… I do need you to do me a huge favor...
就是去我们家把我衣服拿出来 and that is go over by my house and get my clothes.
苏西会提前知道的 Susie will know all about it.
她会在那吗？ She's gonna be there?
对 她应该在 你也不用输什么密码 Yeah, she probably will be there. You're not pushing secret codes and all that.
她会生吞活剥了我的 She'll eat me alive.
就拿上我衣服 Just grab my stuff.
我觉得吧 这就跟… I feel like it's, like...
比见了哭丧的还可怕 lt's almost worse than confronting a mourner.
我欠你个大的 I owe you big time.
不 你不欠我的 No, you don't owe me.
我今天晚点儿去 I'll go later today.
天呐 你不会相信这篇文章的 My God. You would not believe this article.
你不会相信美国汽车协会的政治议程居然是这样的 You would not believe what a political agenda AAA has.
讲老实话 Honestly.
他们想要更多条路 这样就会有更多的车 They just want more roads, so there will be more cars...
这样他们就有更多的会员和更多的钱 so they'll have more members and more money coming in.
他们根本不在乎环境… They don't care about the environment...
他们不在乎无污染 而且我们还是其中一员！ they don't care about pollution, and we're members!
我们就支持这吗？ We're supporting this?
你应该读读 You should read this.
我会的 I'm going to.
你怎么不吭声啊？ Why are you so quiet?
我没不吭声 你在读啊 I'm not quiet, you're reading.
你是在想性吗？ Are you thinking about sex?
你说啥呢？没有 What the hell are you talking about? No.
你一不吭声 通常就是在想性 Whenever you're quiet, you're usually thinking about sex.
- 我没想性 - 你没有吗？ - I'm not thinking about sex. - You are not?
你没想着来一场午后性爱或者其他的？ You're not thinking about a little afternoon sex or something?
我只是好奇 I'm just curious.
一种恶趣味嘛 It's kind of kinky.
- 你觉得我恶趣味吗？ - 你不觉得你恶趣味吗？ - You think l'm kinky? - Do you think you're kinky?
你刚说"这是某种恶趣味" 你觉得我恶趣味？ You just said, "That's kind of kinky." Do you think l'm kinky?
我没恶趣味 I'm not kinky.
我只是说… I'm just saying...
你想来场午后性爱的想法有点疯狂 you wanting to have sex in the afternoon is crazy.
首先 我没说过我想在下午做爱 First of all, I didn't say I wanted to have sex in the afternoon.
这是你说的 你为什么这么说？ You said that, why do you say that?
你脑子里在想很多东西 You got a lot going on in there.
像是 恶心的事 你是这么想的吗？ Like, sick things going on, is that what you think?
- 我没说"恶心" - 你觉得我想着恶心变态的事吗？ - I didn't say "sick." - You think there are sick things going on?
你脑子里有恶心又变态的事吗？ Are there sick, twisted things going on?
没有 完全没有 No, not at all.
我不明白你从哪感觉出来的 I don't know where you get that from.
我只是在想杰夫 就这 I'm just thinking about Jeff, that's all.
当我什么也没说吧 对不起 Forget I said anything. Sorry.
我要去给杰森·亚历山大打个电话 I got to go call Jason Alexander.
是节目的事吗？ For the show?
是啊 我们准备一起做 Yeah, we're gonna get together.
你相信吗 我要重返电视界了 Do you believe that I might be getting back into network television?
我觉得特别好 I think it's great.
是啊 All right.
- 他真的很喜欢这个想法 - 这很好啊 - He really loves the idea. - That's good.
我说 他都停不下来 I mean, he can't stop talking about it.
- 你好？ - 阿杰？ - Hello? - Jay?
- 谁呀？ - 拉里大卫 - Who is this? - L.D.
- 拉里吗？ - 近来怎么样啊？ - Lar? - What's shaking?
我们碰个头聊聊那个节目？ We gonna hook up and talk about the show?
我打给你就为这事 That's what l'm calling about.
太好了 你准备在哪聊啊？ Great, where do you want to do this?
我们可以… We could do it...
可以在我家 也可以去我办公室 we could do it here, we could do it in my office...
你介意来我这吗？ Would you mind coming here?
好吧 成 在你那见 Okay, all right, l'll meet you there.
- 你介意吗？ - 不 那也挺好 - You don't mind? - No, that will be fine.
- 三点行吗？ - 行 到时候见 - 3:00, okay? - All right, l'll see you then.
- 好的 哥们 - 拜 - Okay, pal. - Bye.
总是这样： Never fails:
每次我不得不去开个会 或者有个会要开 Every time I have to go to a meeting, or there's a meeting...
从来就不在我办公室或者我家里 it's never in my office, or my house.
我永远是去找人的 从来没人来找过我 I'm always going. Nobody's ever coming to me.
我从来就没在我房子或办公室里开过会 I've never had a meeting in my house or in my office.
我办公桌前面都不用放椅子 从来没人要坐那 I don't even need chairs in front of my desk. Nobody ever sits there.
开一次会 跑一次腿 Every meeting, l'm traveling.
一看臀部就知道是你啦 I'd know that tush anywhere.
幼稚鬼 把车窗打开 Jabroni, open the window.
- 我非常抱歉 - 我没问你的观点 - I'm awfully sorry. - I didn't ask your opinion.
我有三个小孩在那怕的要死… I've got three kids in there scared to death...
因为某个秃瓢垃圾正对着他们开枪呢 because some bald-headed turd is shooting at them.
不是的 先生 我们只是在玩"牛仔与印第安人" No, sir, we were playing Cowboys and lndians.
你不知道科伦拜校园枪击案吗？ Have you heard of Columbine?
就是像你这样的傻帽才让整个社会变得暴力又疯狂 It's idiots like you that cause this whole society to be going crazy with violence.
- 不是的 我不是暴徒… - 闭嘴！ - No, l'm not a violent... - Shut up!
你知道你在看啥吗？你看到的是一个 245 磅… You know what you're looking at? You are looking at 245 pounds of steel...
能把你屁股掰碎了撂路边的铁人 and drop-your-bony-butt-to-the-curb appeal.
我给你个抱摔能让你在裤头上喷出屎来 I will body-slam you so hard that you will poop your bald pants.
- 听着没？ - 是的 先生 - You hear me? - Yes, sir.
你要再敢对我孩子哪怕伸根手指头… Don't you ever point another finger at my kids again...
你要这么干 我就给你掰折了捅你括约肌里去 because if you do, I will break it off, and shove it up your sphincter.
- 听见了吗？ - 是的 先生 - You hear me? - Yes, sir.
是的 71350359 Yeah, 71350359.
这不可能啊！ That's impossible!
什么时候？ When?
好吧 我想恢复原状 不 她没有权利这么做 Okay, I want to get it reinstated. No, she had no authorization to do that.
不 是我老婆没错 No, that's my wife.
不是 我没想取消 No, I don't want to cancel it.
好吧 非常感谢 All right, thank you very much.
- 老兄 你这会打破你的保险杠的 - 什么？ - Dude, you're gonna bust your bumper. - What?
你会弄穿你的保险杠的 You're gonna bust right through your bumper.
挪过去 放在你另一个车胎前边 你的后胎 It goes through, in front of your other tire. Your back tire.
用曲柄吧 能容易点 And use the crank, it makes it easier.
- 哪个啊？ - 就那个 - Which one? - Right there.
哪支 这有俩呢 Which, there's two cranks.
你得先把车轮螺母松了 You got to loosen the lug nuts first.
你是指 在举起来之前吗？ You mean, before I lift it?
我是不是太靠边了？ Am I too close to the curb?
请问您知道怎么换胎吗？ Do you know anything about changing a tire?
您能帮我换个胎吗？稍微帮个忙 You want to help me change a tire? Could use a little help.
不行吗？需要一点协助 No? Need a little assistance.
我没上过维修课 现在需要一点帮助 I never took a shop class and I need a little help.
我只能声嘶力竭的在这喊"帮帮我" I'm just coming flat out and saying, "Help me."
有人能帮一个近乎弱智的人换个轮胎吗？ Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual change a tire?
25 块 30 块？换个胎 30 块 $25, $30? $30 to change a tire.
好嘛 35 块 Okay, $35.
35 块换个轮胎 就现在 $35 to change this tire for me, right now.
我给你 35 块 我给你 10 块钱就理我一下 I'll give you $35. I'll give you $10 for a response.
回个话 10 块钱 For a verbal response, $10.
就没人想就回个话赚 10 块钱吗？ Anybody want to make $10 and respond verbally?
没有吗？ No?
然后他叫我秃瓢垃圾 Then he calls me a bald turd.
五分钟之后 我车胎… Five minutes later, my tire...
我的老天爷 所以 他把车胎割开了 Jesus Christ, so, he cut it, he slashed the tire.
- 割了车胎 对 - 狗娘养的 - Slashed the tire, yeah. - Son of a bitch.
- 那个人坐着我车来的… The guy's coming with my car...
我现在得载他去加油站… and I got to drive him to the gas station...
所以 我得下楼了 so I got to go downstairs.
现在？ Now?
嗯 几分钟内吧 他马上到 Yeah, in a couple of minutes, he's gonna be here.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
好吧 你没记下来车牌号什么的？ All right, did you get a license plate or anything?
那个男的车牌是"14 THOR" The guy's license is "14 THOR."
THOR：北欧神话中的雷神索尔
"14 THOR"？ "14 THOR?"
他看起来像北欧那边的人 And he looked like a Norseman of some kind.
有个男的 还是个专业级摔角手 There's a guy, there's a professional wrestler...
名字叫索尔 索尔·奥尔森 his first name's Thor, Thor Oleson.
- 索尔·奥尔森 - 有点耳熟 - Thor Oleson. - That sounds familiar.
我觉得城里有个大的摔角活动 And I think there's a big wrestling thing in town...
在斯台普斯中心 可能会是他 at the Staples Center, it could be him.
当真的吗？他在洛杉矶 为了那个… You're kidding? He's in L.A. For this...
是的 谁还能挂个那个车牌？ Yeah, who else would have a plate like that?
他说起话也像个摔角手 He sounded like a wrestler...
就站在我车窗前…那个声音 when he was standing over my window... That voice.
描述和听你说的都吻合 The description is exactly the same as what you're saying.
大块头 长金发 Big, huge guy, long, blond hair.
- 这是什么？ - 那个啊？ - What's this thing? - That?
- 你没得过这个吗？ - 没有啊 这什么啊？ - You ever get one of these? - No, what are these?
据推测 我在十字路口闯了个红灯 Supposedly, I drove through some sort of red light or an intersection...
然后他们拍了照 and they have these photos now.
天呐 他们把你拍下来了？ Holy cow, they took your picture?
是啊 他们在红绿灯前面装了个那东西 Yeah, they had the thing up on the light.
我并不在意他们真的抓到你做什么违法的事了 I don't mind it if they actually catch you doing something illegal.
但是不能上相啊 But not on camera.
天呐 我真胖！ Jesus, am I fat!
看起来你又胖了几斤 It looks like you've put on a couple of pounds.
真吓人 Horrendous.
- 我真的抱歉 浪费了一天 - 不 呃 - I'm real sorry, what a waste of a day. - No, listen.
我给你说 你想明天做吗？ I'll tell you, you want to do it tomorrow?
我觉得没多少要做的了 I don't think there's that much to go over.
是啊 我们和维拉定个时间 你明天再来 Yeah, let's make a time with Vera, you'll come back in tomorrow...
我明天下午有空 我们可以认真研究上一个钟头 l got some openings in the afternoon, and we'll kick it around for an hour.
我们能做起来 We'll get into it.
我在想明天没准... I was kind of thinking maybe tomorrow...
我们能去我在圣莫妮卡的办公室那儿工作 we could do it in my office in Santa Monica.
别了 这就挺好 别那么做了 No, that's okay, let's not do that.
我们就在这吧 挺好 能行 We'll do it here. This is good, this works.
那样我能轻松很多… It's kind of a lot easier for me...
如果我们能在圣莫妮卡工作的话 if we could do it in Santa Monica.
我是说 你理解吧 我今天过来了 所以明天没准 I mean, you know, I came here today, so, tomorrow maybe...
是 只是你来这能让我工作的更好 Yeah, it kind of works a little better for me if you come here.
更简单 我也能更专注 It's a little easier. I can focus on it a little better.
我有个特别好的办公室 在那你做什么都能专注 I got a very nice office. You'll be able to focus on anything.
我有个特别舒服的椅子 I got a very comfortable chair.
我挂了块黑板 我们能在上面写出来 I got blackboards up there, we can write it all out.
你看啊 这都是小事 You know, it'll be a breeze.
和办公室无关 我没什么要求 It's not the office, l'm very low maintenance.
我们应该开个会吧 还没有开成会 We were supposed to have a meeting. And we haven't had a meeting.
让我们开始做我们原本打算做的事吧 Let's start by doing what we set out to do.
来实现它 我们开个会 在我的办公室里 Let's accomplish that, let's have a meeting, at my office.
我们本来打算开个会的 我也开过来了 We did attempt to have the meeting, and I did make the drive part.
所以开车的部分 我已经开完了 So, the drive part, that I did do.
对 你开的不错 Yeah, the driving you got done good.
但现在有点不平衡了吧 因为我已经开过来了 But that's a little out of balance now. 'Cause I did my drive.
你开车 我等着 没什么打破平衡的 It's not out of balance because you were driving and I was waiting.
重要的是我们没开成会啊 The important thing is we didn't meet.
你等着的时候你能做很多事 但开车的时候什么也做不了 There's a lot to do while waiting but nothing while driving.
明天 如果你想开到我办公室的话 Tomorrow, if you want to drive to my office...
你让我等多久我都乐意 l'll be happy if you make me wait for as long as you want.
- 我知道 但我们定好计划了 - 我明白 - I know, but we made a plan. - I understand.
我们说我们会在我的办公室开会 We said we'll meet at my office and have a meeting.
这是原计划… That's the plan...
没实现 那就让我们实现它 that's not accomplished, let's accomplish it.
我们打算开个会 但计划流产了 We attempted to have the meeting, but it was aborted.
- 我们失败了 那就开个会吧 - 我们正在开会啊 - Then we failed, let's have that meeting. - We're having that meeting right now.
这不是关于节目的会啊 这是关于开会的会 This is not a meeting about the show. This is about having a meeting.
我懂 但是目的是一样的 你明白了吗？ I know, but the intention is the same, don't you understand?
- 我抱着同一个目的开车过来 - 开车不是开会啊 拉里 - I drove here with the same intention. - The driving is not the meeting, Larry.
我们在讨论的不就是谁开车吗 The driving is what we're talking about.
你怎么老回到开车这让人抓狂的事儿上啊 You keep coming back to this insane thing with driving.
- 开车不是症结所在 - 我觉得开车是症结所在 - Driving is not the issue. - I think driving is the issue.
我们有一个单一的计划 We had a singular plan.
我们要关于这个节目开个会 We were gonna have a meeting about the show.
所以我们这不正开着呢嘛 So we're having a meeting.
你可以开着车环游世界 但我们还是没开成会啊！ You could drive around the world, we still haven't had a meeting!
- 谢丽儿？ - 嗯？ - Cheryl? - Yes?
你干嘛了？你从美国汽车协会注销了？ What did you do? You canceled AAA?
发生什么事了？ What happened to you?
你为什么不告诉我注销了？ Why didn't you tell me you were canceling AAA?
读完那篇文章之后 我怎么能不注销呢？ After that article, how could I not?
- 我读给你听了 - 你没说你要注销啊 - I was reading it to you. - You didn't say you were canceling it.
我本来打算等你回家了再告诉你 I was going to tell you when you got home.
那可好了 我不得不换个车胎 然后呢 看看吧 That's great, I had to change a tire. And then, look at this.
- 发生什么了？ - 一言难尽 - What happened? - It's a long story.
我得去换件衣服 I got to go change my clothes.
我要去杰夫家拿他的衣服 I got to go to Jeff's house and get his clothes.
噢 顺便问下 你为什么对旺达说她有个大屁股？ Oh, By the way, Why did you tell Wanda she has a big ass?
- 我没跟旺达说她有个大屁股啊 - 她刚打电话给我说了 - I didn't tell Wanda she had a big ass. - She just called me and told me.
我没说过她有个大屁股 好嘛 I didn't say she had a big ass, okay.
我从车窗里往外喊的是"一看臀部就知道是你了"就说了这句 I yelled out the window and I said, "l'd know that tush anywhere."
你为什么这么做？ Why would you do that?
你为什么要评价她的屁股？ Why would you even comment about her ass?
这是啥大不了的事嘛？ What's the big deal?
你还不如直接说： You might as well call out and say:
"你屁股真大" 这不一样嘛 "You got a really big ass," it's the same.
- 这只是个亲切的打趣罢了 - 亲切的打趣？ - It was just a friendly remark, that's all. - That's a friendly remark?
是啊 我想显得友好点儿 我显的友好又亲密 Yeah, I was just being nice. I was being nice and chummy.
你不能喊出来你对一个女性屁股的评价啊 You don't yell a comment about a woman's ass.
- 只会让人这么理解吧 - 不 如果她有个小屁股 - There's only one way to take it. - No, if she had a small ass...
我还是会说"一看臀部就知道是你了"那又怎么了 l could have said, "l'd know that tush anywhere." So what
你就该什么都不说 You shouldn't say anything at all.
- 你就不能谈论… - 为啥？多大点事啊 - You just shouldn't talk about... - Why What's the big deal?
就算我说了她有个大屁股又如何？又不可怕 What if I did say she has a big ass? That's not terrible.
大屁股怎么了？ 我就喜欢大屁股 有什么问题吗 What's the matter with a big ass? I like big asses, there's no problem.
你喜欢大屁股？ You like big asses?
我不介意大屁股 不 也别太大了 I don't mind a big ass. No, not necessarily big.
- 不 真有意思 你热爱大屁股？ - 不 我不热爱大屁股 - No, this is interesting, you love big asses? - No, I don't love big asses.
你喜欢多大的 How big do you like them?
我就喜欢正常大小的…我就喜欢像你这么大的…行了吧？ I like them just the regular... l like them just like yours, okay?
嚯！因为我屁股真大啊"我喜欢大屁股" Because mine is really big, and "l like them big."
它也不是那么大 大小正好 It's not really big, it's a good size.
你说过"我喜欢大屁股并且我喜欢你的屁股" You said, "l love big asses and I like yours."
不 我说的是 我不介意大屁股 我喜欢你的… No, I said, I don't mind them. I like your...
看来我还是不够了解你啊 There are a lot of things about you I don't know.
- 这和我没关系 - 是嘛 我还不知道你有恋屁股癖呢 - There's nothing about me. - Yeah, I didn't know you had this ass fetish.
- 别乱说 我没有恋屁股癖 - 真是恶趣味呢 - Don't say that, I don't have an ass fetish. - This is very kinky.
- 看起来 了不得的事正暴露出来了啊 - 没什么暴露出来的 - It's, like, all this stuff is unfolding now. - Nothing's unfolding!
真有意思 在一起那么多年了 我才发现… This is interesting. After years together, l'm just finding out...
你疯了吧 不是！ What are you, crazy, no!
这太扯了 不 我不是个变态的人 That's so untrue, no, l'm not a deviant.
"变态"可不是我说的 I didn't say "deviant."
别说我是个恋屁股癖 你没有证据 Don't say I have an ass fetish, you got nothing on me.
- 你在等谁来吗？ - 旺达 - Are you expecting somebody? - Wanda.
啥？ What?
进来吧 Come on in.
噢 你知道我是谁啊？好嘛 You know who I am? Okay.
我觉得我应该转个身 对你展示下我的大屁股 I thought I had to turn around, and show you my big ass.
你完全 完全地误解了 You completely, completely misinterpreted that.
- 我没说你有个大屁股 - 你在那喊"嘿 大屁股旺达" - I didn't say you had a big ass. - You yelled out, "Hey, big ass Wanda."
没有 我没说"大屁股"我只是打个招呼 No, I didn't say "big ass," l was just saying hello.
你就这么打招呼？ Is that how you say hello?
就这样？"嘿！大屁股" Is that it? "Hey, big ass."
或者"嘿 阿屁"要不就"嘿 是你啊屁股" Or "Hey, Assy," or "Hey, I know your ass."
这什么啊 你不是这么打招呼的吧？ What is that, that's not how you say hello, is it?
也许不是 Perhaps not.
我的屁股怎么了 你就把它下载好… Something about my ass has made you download it...
然后存到你记忆里了是吧 and you stored it in your memory.
不是这样的 That's not so.
- 他什么毛病？ - 我们刚刚还在讨论 - What is wrong with him? - We were having a discussion.
你告诉他了吗 他那么说话很有问题啊 Did you tell him how wrong it is to say something like that?
- 我跟他说了 - 你懂吗 女性的屁股是很私人的事 - I told him. - You know, a woman's ass is very personal.
我也是今天才知道他如此痴迷于屁股 I didn't know he was so obsessed with asses until today.
- 你家里有个恋屁股狂啊 - 你说什么？ - You have an ass man. - What are you saying?
- 你是个恋屁股狂 - 我不是 - You are an ass man. - I am not.
你是个恋屁股狂 You are an ass man.
- 这就是我不知道他的恋屁股癖 - 我没有恋屁股癖 好嘛 - It's this ass fetish I didn't know about. - I don't have any ass fetish, okay.
痴迷于屁股？我没有痴迷于屁股？ Obsessed with asses? I am not obsessed with asses.
行吧 阿屁 你这身上什么破玩意？ Okay, Assy. And why is that shit all over you?
你干嘛了 找屁股去了？ What you been doing, looking for asses?
就在看台上找"屁股在哪呢？" All in the bleachers and stuff, "Where's the ass?"
哦哟 这是不是杰弗瑞的传令小弟啊 If it isn't Jeffrey's messenger boy.
他这个讨厌的 没骨气的家伙居然派你过来帮他干脏活 He is such a slimy, spineless creature that he sends you to do his dirty work
你就不气愤吗？ Don't you resent it?
不会 我挺好的 No, l'm fine.
成吧 那就让我们把这事办完 赶紧的 All right, let's get this over with, come on.
他都不敢面对我 这个死胖子 He can't even face me, that fat fuck.
你知道我什么意思 他派你来 他好朋友 You know what I mean, he sends you, his friend...
他让你这么尴尬 他倒是像过去一样藏着掖着的 he puts you in this awkward position, like all the times he used to keep secrets.
这不尴尬啊 也没有秘密 It's not awkward, there's no secrets.
讲真 这不尴尬 我挺得劲的 Honest, it's not awkward, l'm very comfortable.
你以为我不知道吗… You think I don't know...
那些小花瓶 女演员 about all the little bimbos, these actresses.
你说什么呢？ What are you talking about?
他给她们说会安排个角色… He tells them he's going to give them parts...
这样他就能得到一次不错的口活 so he can get a nice blowjob.
- 我了解他 - 口活？ - I know him. - Blowjob?
他以为我不知道这些烂事啊 他怎么给你说的 说什么了？ He thinks I don't know this shit. What did he tell you, what did he say?
他给你说我把他赶出门了吗？嗯 他的男性自尊 蠢… Did he tell you I kicked him out? Yeah, his male ego, his stupid male...
他以为我不知道他把黄片藏哪了 He thinks I don't know about that porn stash.
把这些破玩意全拿走 他在酒店里用得上 Take all this crap. He's gonna need this in the hotel.
他给我说这些他都不想要 He told me that he doesn't want any of this.
是嘛《戏弄那肥臀》《大屁股妈咪》都是他最爱 Yeah, Freak That Booty, Big Ass Momma, all his favorites.
以为我不知道这些破玩意吗？ Think I don't know about this crap?
你也好这口？你好恶趣味的《大屁股妈咪》这口？ You're into this shit, too? You're into the kinky Big Ass Momma crap?
- 你疯了吧？- 我原本以为你是个居家的男人 - Are you crazy? - I thought you were a family man.
我觉得我认出来背面这个女的了 I thought I recognized that woman from the back.
我给你讲 Let me tell you something.
你的变态死胖子经纪人 你知道 他让我干什么吗？ Your perverse, fat fuck manager, you know, what he makes me do?
- 他侵犯我 拉里 他玷污我 - 我不想知道 - He violates me, Larry. He defiles me. - I don't want to know.
大晚上的 他让我… At night, he makes me...
谁啊？ Who's that?
苏西 什么情况？ Susie, what's going on?
杰夫在哪？ Where's Jeff?
- 你是不是做了些道德败坏的事 - 这是什么 - You've done something rotten haven't you. - What is this?
杰弗瑞在酒店呢 拉里来拿他的衣服 All right, Jeffrey is at a hotel, Larry is bringing the clothes.
我来拿衣服送到酒店去 I'm taking the clothes to the hotel.
我想谈谈 我能和你一起去吗 去酒店？ I want to talk, could I go with you, to the hotel?
我想和你一起去 I want to go with you.
不行 你会受刺激的 你过于劳累了 歇会吧 No, you'll get excited, you're overworked, stop it.
我想见我的孩子 I want to see my boy.
这样吧 拉里 带着妈去酒店 You know what, take Mom to the hotel.
爸 你就和我呆一起吧 成嘛 好 很好 Dad, you stay here with me. Okay, very good.
我们会处理好一切的 We'll take care of everything.
我敢肯定你和这事儿脱不了干系 你个道德败坏的混蛋 I'm sure you had something to do with this, you rotten bastard!
你为什么拿上杰夫的衣服… Why did you have to put those clothes of Jeff's...
- 问吧 问吧… - 就给扔了 - Why Why… - just throw them off.
为什么你就把它们扔到后备箱里和旧车胎放一起 Why did you just throw them in the trunk on top of a dirty old tire?
- 很明显我有毛病 - 这就是问题所在 - There's obversely something wrong with me. - That's the question.
"我有什么毛病"这是个问题 "What's wrong with me?" is the question.
为什么会有人这么做？ Why would anybody do that?
我家里没有衣柜 我就是习惯那么扔东西了 I don't have a closet in my house. I'm used to throwing things around like that.
把它们扔到地板上 Throwing them on the floor.
我把它们扔到地板上 我家里衣服都扔地板上的… I throw them on the floor, that's how all my clothes are at home...
我连个床都没有… l don't even have a bed.
- 我就睡在一堆衣服上 - 这真恶心 - I sleep on a big pile of clothes. - It's just disgusting.
- 我就是个恶心的人 - 我看出来了 我只是 我太… - I'm a disgusting man. - I can see that, l'm just, l'm so...
您对我很失望 You're disappointed in me.
我失望了 哎 这是什么？ I'm disappointed. Now what's this?
"极速燃脂" "Loose fat, as fast as you can."
是啊 真的 Yeah, really.
听起来不错 我要记着这个电话 That sounds good, l'd like to get that number.
- 你有笔嘛 让我记下来 - 后座上有一支 - Have you got a pen, let me put that down. - There's one in the back seat.
在我那年月 没人离婚 In my day, nobody got divorced.
你看 就一点小问题 搁现在就得拜拜了… You know, one little problem, and nowadays it's goodbye...
拿上衣服 你就走了 grab your clothes, and you're gone.
相互在一起生活那么久的人… People live together for years and years...
那么讨厌彼此 但他们还是… hating each other desperately, but still they...
你在干啥？ What are you doing?
你喜欢那辆老车啊 你看它的后座是面朝外的 You like that old car. You know the back seat faces out.
这样你就能看到你的位置了 So that you can see where you've been.
是啊 会让你恶心 想吐… Yeah, makes you nauseous, the fumes, you know...
这是从… 我能帮得上忙嘛？ that come out from... Can I help you with that?
不用了 That's okay.
- 真是个漂亮的酒店 是不是很美？ - 是的 它很好看 - This is a beautiful hotel. Isn't it a beauty? - Yeah, it's lovely.
我希望退休后能在这生活 真是太华美了 I want to retire here some day. Absolutely gorgeous.
- 杰夫说了在这见我们吗？ - 他会在大堂见我们 - Did Jeff say he's gonna meet us here? - He's gonna meet us in the lobby.
- 我没看见他 - 那不嘛 - I don't see him. - There, what's that?
杰夫 亲爱的 Jeff, darling.
摊上什么麻烦了？ What's the trouble here?
- 能不能… - 好 再拿会儿 来一下 - Could I please... - Yeah, hold on, come here.
马上 妈 就扔这儿吧 One second, Mom. Drop them down there.
你父亲对这件事感到很不安 Your father is just all broken up about this.
我们会谈谈的 We'll talk about it.
送到 818 房间 Go up to Room 818.
去吧 818 房间 Here you go, Room 818.
还有 妈 我马上就过来 我会都告诉您的 And mom, I'll be up there in a second, and we'll talk about everything.
我已经来到这里了 I've come all this way.
跟着他走 我就跟上 Go with him and l'll be up.
去小酒吧那吃点东西 我马上就过去 Take something from the minibar. I'll be up there.
- 你保证马上啊 - 我保证 - You promise me now. - I promise you.
- 行吧 宝贝 - 我对整件事都很抱歉 - All right, sweetheart. - I'm sorry about this whole thing.
谢谢带这一路 Thanks for the ride.
苏西怎么了？ What happened with Susie?
伙计们 爸爸要跑去上个卫生间 Guys, dad's gonna run up to the bathroom.
这不好笑 把你脸上嘴角撇下来 This isn't funny, so wipe the smile off your face.
没什么 她是个疯子 Nothing, she's a lunatic.
- 她这个疯婆子 - 是啊 她疯了 - She's fucking nuts. - Yeah, she's crazy.
现在你知道为什么我会在这儿了吧 Now you know why l'm here.
记得你今天早些时候说欠我一次不？ Remember earlier today you said that you owed me one?
- 是啊 我欠你个大的 - 我需要你兑现了 - Yeah, I owe you big. - I need to take you up on it.
- 好嘛 干什么？ - 就现在 赶紧的 - Okay, what? - Like, now, quickly.
- 现在 - 对 - Right now. - Yeah.
实际上我有个相当诡异的请求 I actually have a rather bizarre request.
我想让你出去 外面停了辆旅行车 I want you to go outside, there's a station wagon out there.
干嘛？ What?
我想让你把某人的车胎气放了 I want you to let the air out of somebody's tires.
车牌上写的"14 THOR" It says "14 THOR" on the license plate.
是辆红色旅行车 就停在前面 你肯定能看见 It's a red station wagon, it's in front, you can't miss it.
- "14 THOR"但是为啥啊？ - 你说了欠我一次的 - "14 THOR," but why? - You said you owed me one.
- 成吧 当然了 - 但你必须现在就去干 快点 - All right, yeah, sure. - But you have to do it now, hurry up.
好吧 你就在这是吧？ All right, you'll be here, right?
我就待这儿 谢谢 I'll be here, yeah. Thank you.
伙计们 Guys.
你怎么样？ How you doing?
- 挺好 你呢？ - 好啊 听着 - Good, you? - Good. Listen.
你们爸爸是个摔角手是不是？ Your dad's that wrestler, isn't he?
- 索尔 是啊 - 大块头 - Thor, yeah. - Big tall guy.
我有一点小消息要给你们… I got a little piece of information for you...
很有意思 that might interest you.
- 摔角是内定的 - 你什么意思？ - Wrestling's fixed. - What do you mean?
所有的摔角比赛都是提前设计的 胜者都是预定好的 All the matches are set up beforehand. The winners are all pre-determined.
- 全是虚的 - 你是说那是假的吗？ - It's completely illegitimate. - You mean it's fake?
没错 假的 这就是我想找的字眼 Exactly, fake. That's exactly the word l'm looking for.
爸爸是个大假货 你知道他是干什么的吗？ Dad's kind of a big fake. You know what he is?
- 比起摔角手 他更是个演员 - 爸爸是个演员？ - He's more of an actor than a wrestler. - Dad's an actor?
是啊 整个事就是个弄虚作假的大骗局 That's right, the whole thing's a big phony boloney.
所有人都知道 没人会以为是真的 Everybody knows that. Nobody thinks it's real.
嘿 你给他说秃瓢垃圾来打过招呼了 好嘛？ You tell him the bald turd said hello, okay?
嗨 Hi.
今天你干嘛了？ What have you been up to today?
- 工作 - 真的吗？ - Working. - Really?
你和杰森把问题解决了？ You and Jason worked things out?
没有 我们似乎无法就等距轨迹点达成一致 No, we can't seem to agree on the locus equidistant of points.
我推荐了家餐厅 他觉得离我太近了 I suggested a restaurant, he thought it was too close to me.
他建议了一家 我又觉得离他太近了 Then he suggested one, and I thought it was too close to him...
然后 我们就没能碰头 and, we just can't get it together.
可不是不能嘛 你在等城里寄来什么东西吗？ Of course you can't. Are you expecting something from the city?
- 没有 - 我能打开吗？ - No. - Can I open it?
当然 Sure.
噢 我的天呐 Oh, my God.
翻译:小年糕 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net